You’re finally home from the hospital. We skype for the first time in months, I’m so excited to finally see you home. But.. I’m also afraid to see you, to see how skinny and frail you’ve become. I’m afraid I might lose it in front of you and just cry, when that does happen, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop. And the ringing begins, I answer the video call and I instantly see you… and my heart just dropped to my stomach. All the things I were afraid of seeing is right in front of me. There are shadows beneath your eyes. You’re so skinny I can’t even recognize you and you’re constantly complaining about pain.
My poor daddy (grandfather), if I could take away your pain, I would do it without hesitation. I’d rather have myself feel all the physical pain your enduring, than to see you suffer.
The most difficult part about this entire thing is the distance. If I were closer I would be able to take care of you. To make sure you’re drinking your medication on time, make you feel comfortable and just take care of you. It hurts so much to be away from you. It kills me that I can’t be closer to you. I just wanna hug you and stay beside you.
My heart hurts so much